Every day I look at you,
I hide the pain behind a mask.
I put up walls to keep you out,
I put on an act of pure happiness.
Hoping that one day you’ll see through it.
Praying one day you’ll come to me,
Knowing I’ll wait until you do.
My friends all think I’m jealous,
Of this slutty little bitch,
But I would say that I just hope I’m wrong about her now.
That she would never break your heart,
But deep inside, I know I’m right and all that is,
Is just that, a hope.
_______________________________________________________
Blinded by Her.
And as hot tears pour down my face,
I look in the mirror and laugh,
I’ve been through all this,
To save myself from the pain.
Yet here is sit,
Alone,
The tears pouring down, the pain still the same,
Because no matter what,
She’ll win,
It’s HER he’ll always believe.
It doesn’t matter what proof I have,
Because he can’t see,
He’s so damn blinded by HER.
__________________________________
I Had to Turn AwayI had to turn away.
I had to say good-bye
My heart couldn’t survive,
History repeating itself.
I know you said you cared,
But I can’t take this game anymore.
It hurts so much to walk away,
but I know the pain I would go through if I stayed.
You went and called me stupid,
But to my face you pretended to understand.
____________________________________________
If That's not Love
Up all night,
Up all day,
All the time I think of you.
Wishing you were there to hold me.
Wishing you were there to want me.
I told you I loved you.
I told you the truth.
Two years ago I screwed things up.
Two years later I wish I could try again.
Some say you hate me.
I wish you would just tell me.
You were there when I most needed you.
If that’s not love,
Tell me what is.
It was you I called for when I was in pain.
It was you I wanted to hold me hand.
If that’s not love,
Tell me what is.
___________________________________________
It's...
It’s when she knows,
Who and what he is,
It’s when she says she’s over him,
But secretly she yearns for him.
It’s when her friends all turn away,
For some slut who’s there today.
When she hates the world,
Because sin invaded her Church.
And opens up her heart.
The tears pour down her face,
As God takes away the pain.
It's Been Four Months.
It’s been four months,
Since you took my heart,
And tore it apart.
It’s been four months,
Since I first realized,
Who you were.
It’s been four months,
Since you first started,
Your game.
Playing with my feelings,
Playing for your gain.
It’s been four months,
But still I sit,
While you plague my mind.
You had your fun,
But now its done.
All I can say is,
I’m through,
With you.
This, at Least, is Real
Its that feeling when she look into his eyes,
And for those few seconds,
The whole world stands still,
And for that moment she thinks he’s hers,
Though she knows he’ll never be.
It’s her that looks away,
As she remembers the look on his face,
When he looked into the crowds,
That smile lit up his face.
It wasn’t to her,
For she was standing to far away,
It was to some other girl.
She looks back at him,
A sad expression on her face,
But he’s too busy looking the other way.
She’ll wait around for hours,
Just to she him walk by and say “Hey”.
Sometimes she isn’t sure he notices,
But she figures he can’t be that oblivious.
The pain that comes with the love,
Keeps her going every day,
Makes her know,
This, at least, is real.
He doesn’t know the struggle,
That she deals with everyday,
As she debates whether to fight,
Or give up and walk away.
The war inside that’s raging,
Get worse with every passing day,
Especially when she sees him,
And his smile melts her heart away.
So beautiful before.
You look at him and think,
“Oh no! i’m in love with a manwhore.”
You friends all think you’re crazy,
They look at you and say,
“He’s not what you’re looking for.
You’ll just get left by him feeling like some cheap whore,
He’s dangerous not the stable guy you want,
So turn around and leave,
Before you fall in too deep.”
You shake your head and laugh bitterly,
Know it’s too late,
You look at him again and know,
You’ve already fallen too deep.
_____________________________________________
What if
What if I told you,
I loved you.
What if I told you,
I wanted you to be mine?
What if I told you,
I’d wait until the end of time?
What if I told you,
I hated you for who you made me become.
What if I told you.
How I really felt?
What if I told you,
How confused I really am?
What if I told you,
I need you?
How would you repond?
_________________________________
Young Love
I’ve fallen in love with someone,
I know I can never be with.
My heart explodes with the pain.
Not worth the tears that came,
When I saw him with her, the slut I will not name.
Make HiM feel the pain.
And even if he comes to me,
I’d swallow and turn away.
I know I can never date him,
My pride just won’t let me.
I’d only smile sadly,
And turn away to cry.
Till I’m all alone at night.
I scream into the darkness,
Wishing he could hear me.
Wishing he could see me,
Knowing that he never will.
Anything that could have been is over,
Our friendship is sibling like now.
I’m just his “twin-sister”,
Not ever a girlfriend.
He’d never look at me now.
But deep inside I know,
It’s better this way.
Our friendship will last forever,
Unlike young love,
That goes away.
